My sister-in-law, Elaine Kirkley, who has died aged 69, endured 25 years of ill health and disability with a fortitude and good humour that inspired those around her. Elaine was a pioneer of the new direct-payments system, which allowed her to employ care workers – many of whom became good friends – who worked alongside social workers, nurses and home helps. She also used a hi-tech communications system to help her in the home. Against all reasonable expectations this system became an enduring success. Elaine lived independently in her home even when she lost all movement below her neck.
She was born and grew up in Darlington, before moving with her parents to Buxton, Derbyshire. She left home in 1962 to train to be a teacher at Gipsy Hill College, south-west London, but returned home when she was diagnosed with bone cancer in her leg. After treatment she returned to college to complete her course and was able to get a post at a new primary school near her parents' home in Rochdale.
Complications arose from her earlier operation and her leg was amputated, but determined as ever, she returned to teaching. Declining physical dexterity and a final diagnosis of multiple sclerosis forced Elaine to take early retirement after 20 years of teaching.
She moved to Bakewell to be with her parents, but after they died she was faced with life as a single woman, an amputee, with an incurable degenerative disease. She decided to try to stay in her bungalow and live as independently as possible. This seemed a daunting task but we were fortunate in having a county council in Derbyshire that had a progressive approach to care of disabled people, and a local NHS practice that provided her with excellent medical and nursing care. Elaine lived in her home for the next 25 years.
New medical equipment was installed in her house and an amazing communications system, known as Possum, enabled her to operate all sorts of devices in her home – doors, curtains, radios, televisions and telephone – electronically.
Elaine had always been determined to make the best of things. Despite countless hospital stays, she enjoyed a full social life: theatre, concerts, adult education classes, shopping, social visits, day trips and holidays. She was a keen follower of football and Manchester United, even managing visits to Old Trafford.
But her main interest was people. She had an incredible memory for all aspects of other people's lives and showed interest, care and concern when she talked to her family and friends. There is no doubt that her deep, if understated, Christian faith helped her to remain strong and made her such an inspiring person.
She is survived by her sister, Olga, me, her niece and two nephews.